I’ve been strong at some points in my life, I’ve been weak at some points in my life.. but, never have I just been in the middle.

I’d like to think that everything I do can impact some part aspect of my life. Maybe that’s being in the newspaper, and someone I’ve never met wants to know more about me. Or maybe it’s leaving a party that’s going to give me a repuation that I DON’T want. Whatever it is - I’m not always putting forth the greatest ability of thought that I should. If I thought things over, and put everyone’s feelings into consideration before mine - at all times, I think my life would work out a little easier.

I’ve had the best years of my life being friends with the people I am friends with now. Not to single anyone out - but the best years I’m referring to are the ones that are more safe, meaningful, full of joy, and good for everyone. Not the ones that were wrong, cruel, and sad. (not saying there have been times like these in the last years.)

I feel like from lack of thought and courtesy, I haven’t treated everyone equally. I have focused on the NEGATIVE parts, that have drawn me away from some friends - instead of embracing the traits in them that I love. I have listened to untrue drama and gossip about the poeple I love - and it made me not want to walk any closer. If I sit back and look at the memories and the GOOD, it makes me wonder why I can ever be so stupid. So dumb to do that to people who mean so much to me. I can count on my friends for anything - and I’m trying to think more and recongnize more positive things throughout my week.